Reading List

Books I'm currently reading:
Boundaries
The Bait of Satan
Power of a Praying Wife
Three
Pride and Prejudice

In the Que:
A praying Life
Power of a Praying Wife
Mere Christianity
The Way I Was Made: Words and Music for an Unusual Life

Yeah... I've been stuck on the first batch for three month... must stop slacking and find a personal time to connect and grow with God.

I Will Wait for You.

So it's been a while. Here's a quick summary, I was engaged and now I'm not. I was supposed to get married in little over two weeks from today. It's been hard but this poem hits home and has been helping me cope.

“I Will Wait…for You” — Janette Ikz

So it seemed, that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me…

So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him.

Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THEIF

So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?

I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,

Cause it was ME who let him in…

Claiming we were “just friends”…

It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t,

I was gonna make him ‘The One’…

You know… I was tired of being alone,

And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time…

so I decided to drag him along for the ride…

Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride…

A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat…

Who was tired of the wait.

So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.

He had a… form of Godliness… but not much.

But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me…

Arerties so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS Will from flowing through me.

So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,

That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back

Through my ignorance He sawed,

Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest

TO transplant Psalm 51:10

A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

So now I fully understand,

Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,

How much I NEED to wait… for You.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..

Cause in the beginning was the Word

And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,

And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –

Which meant NOTHING.

He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to

Asking him to fast would be absurd!

So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…

But I know You.. ♥

You were already praying for me

Even never having met me

Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you

To appease my boredom or to quench my thirst I have for attention

And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.

You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?

His first name LUKE,

His last name WARM.

I, I won’t settle for false companionship

I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,

Attempting to find some closeness,

But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held

Cause ♫”all I gotta do is Say” No!

NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’

Passing winks & buying drinks,

I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!♫

Who flirts with the ideology of,

‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’

NO more.

I’ll stay in my bed… alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you

He won’t even come close,

Our fingers won’t even interlock

We won’t even exchange breath

Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighted down,

From so-called friends & family talks,

About the concern for my biological clock

When I serve the Author of Time.

Who is NOT subject to time,

But I’M subject to Him,

He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

So if we could role play,

You would be Abraham & I would be Sarah

Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebekah – a servant’s answered prayer

I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,

Made up of your rib Adam!

And once we meet, like electrons

I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible…atom.

We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you…”add Him.”

We were all created in His image,

But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.

If I were to explain what you looked like,

You would have to look like a star,

A son of the Son…

I would gain energy simply from the light on me.

I would need you, in order to complete my photosynthesis

I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥

And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

Your faith will remind me of Abraham,

Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

Your heart for God will remind me of David,

Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,

Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,

Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.

I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth

Only if you should see fit…

I desire Your will above mine,

So even if you call me to a life of single-ness,

My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.

YOU are the greatest love story ever told,

The greatest story ever known

You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business.

Oh, I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…

More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT ♥

Perseverance

"Therefore, having been justified by faith we have peace with God through our
Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in
which we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but
we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulations produces perseverance;
and perseverance, character; and character hope. Now hope does not disappoint
because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who
was given to us. " Romans 5:1-5

I'm trying to keep this in mind lately. My heart keeps telling me one thing but I know God is telling me another. Its funny I never took dating lightly. Reading through old posts singleness was definitely something I struggled with. Now I see more than ever that I need to embrace being single.

It is still hard to do things the Godly and pure way when people around you are Worldly in their relationships. But I realize the God has someone out there for me. But for now I need to learn that I'm not ready to be in a relationship.

Its hard to recognize that, but I need to turn to God and recognize I am a strong female leader and I am one because I am single. And that its part of my ministry. Not that I'm saying I'm never going to date again, its just that I'm still not ready in my faith. I know that once I am ready my prince will come and he will be the strong Christian man I've been praying for.

"The end of a thing is better than its beginning; the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry. For anger rests in the bosom of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:18

God help me to see this and understand your will. Less of me, more of you.

I love my group of friends. We all have our own struggles, but we are always there for each other. To pray and to fellowship together. I'm really glad to be apart of Harvest Family Fellowships, young adults group cause of it.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10,12

I wonder.

I wonder if anyone reads this. I'm not good at this whole blog thing. My life has become a series of 140 character twitter updates. haha.

So this is what's been going on in the life of Sarah Ng.

Now that I'm free text books and enter the world of paying back student loans, I have learned that I don't have as much free time as I thought I would. All the projects I said I would get too have gone undone. I finally graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Music. (I switch from Music Ed and am still wondering if it was a good choice)

I'm working from my apartment now. Ohio is not happening now. My boss moved out there, but from what I understand is that I don't have to move. Which is a blessing, I've gotten more involved with Harvest and gotten closer to my family that lives in Reno.

I'm playing guitar more. It's good! I've had my guitar for almost 4 years now and it's about time that I start learning to play it. I play it for my bible study on Tuesday nights and for Youth Group, and I'm far from being able to lead worship on it. It's amazing how God works, I'm learning guitar but in the process of learning I'm also reaching out and showing the Youth Group kids how to play too. So in a way God is still using me to Teach Music.

I've been going to Young Adults too, and it's nice to actually have a group of friends that have a strong foundation in their beliefs. I guess what I mean is, it's nice to be around a group of 20 somethings that aren't going out getting drunk, cussing, or trying to be better than people. We are starting to meet on Saturdays, which is great in my book cause it keeps people from getting into trouble.

I'm still struggling with stuff of the world, but it's been getting better. Something I don't want to let go, like certain friends and activities but I'm getting there. As for relationships, I'm still struggling with it. It's hard sometimes being around people who are 4 to 5 years younger than me that are already married and have babies, but at the same time I know I'm not ready for that chapter of life.

I'm still hoping for a great Christian guy that God has set aside for me. hm... that's another post. The kind of guy I'm waiting for. I'll have to share it with some of the youth girls. haha.

Showing Love.

Today I kind of wish I was in Reno. To be apart of a group of people from all groups that are joining together to show a group of misled Christians love. 

Fred Phelps from Westboro Baptist Church (www.godhatesfags.com) is coming to Reno to protest the GSA Summit at UNR. They have been on UNR's campus before where they yelled hateful words to passing students, telling them, "God Hates You" "God Hates Reno" "You are all sinners!" Many Renoites remember the hateful protest WBC staged at the memorial service for Brianna Dennison, in front of South Reno Baptist, and on campus. 

It's sad, I'm wondering if this is the same group that Brody Harper ran into in Baton Rouge. They were protesting in front of a venue that was hosting The Rock & Worship Road Show a Christian Concert. Yelling at the Christians telling they were evil and sinners and bad examples for going to a Christian rock concert!