Reading List

Books I'm currently reading:
Boundaries
The Bait of Satan
Power of a Praying Wife
Three
Pride and Prejudice

In the Que:
A praying Life
Power of a Praying Wife
Mere Christianity
The Way I Was Made: Words and Music for an Unusual Life

Yeah... I've been stuck on the first batch for three month... must stop slacking and find a personal time to connect and grow with God.

I Will Wait for You.

So it's been a while. Here's a quick summary, I was engaged and now I'm not. I was supposed to get married in little over two weeks from today. It's been hard but this poem hits home and has been helping me cope.

“I Will Wait…for You” — Janette Ikz

So it seemed, that it was cool, for everyone to be in a relationship but me…

So I took matters into my own hands… and ended up with him.

Him who displayed the characteristics of a CHEATER, a LIAR, an ABUSER, & a THEIF

So.. why was I surprised when he broke into my heart?

I called 911, but I was cardiac arrested for aiding and abetting,

Cause it was ME who let him in…

Claiming we were “just friends”…

It was already decided for me by the first date, that even if he wasn’t,

I was gonna make him ‘The One’…

You know… I was tired of being alone,

And I simply made up in my mind, that it was about that time…

so I decided to drag him along for the ride…

Cause I was always the bridesmaid & never the bride…

A virgin in the physical, but mentally just a grown woman on the corner in heat…

Who was tired of the wait.

So I was gonna make him ‘The One’.

He had a… form of Godliness… but not much.

But hey, hey I can change him! So (honey) I’ll TAKE him, I mean he’s close… enough

Ready to sell my aorta for a quarter, not knowing the value of its use to me…

Arerties so clogged with MY will, it blocked HIS Will from flowing through me.

So, I thank Christ that His blood pressure gave this heart an attack,

That flatlined my obscured vision, put me flat on my back

Through my ignorance He sawed,

Through my sternum He sawed & cracked open my chest

TO transplant Psalm 51:10

A new heart & a renewed right spirit within!

So now I fully understand,

Better yet I thoroughly comprehend,

How much I NEED to wait… for You.

See, the bad thing is that I knew he wasn’t you from the beginning..

Cause in the beginning was the Word

And he didn’t even sound or shine like Your Son

Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,

And all he could whisper was sweet, empty nothings –

Which meant NOTHING.

He couldn’t even pray when I NEEDED him to

Asking him to fast would be absurd!

So forget about being cleansed & washed with water through the Word…

But I know You.. ♥

You were already praying for me

Even never having met me

Let me assure you, I will wait for you.

I will no longer date, socialize or communicate with carbon copies of you

To appease my boredom or to quench my thirst I have for attention

And short-lived compliments from ‘sorta kindas’.

You know…. He ‘sort kinda’ right, but ‘sorta kinda’ wrong?

His first name LUKE,

His last name WARM.

I, I won’t settle for false companionship

I won’t lay in the embrace of his arms,

Attempting to find some closeness,

But never feeling so far apart cause, I just wanna be held

Cause ♫”all I gotta do is Say” No!

NO more ‘almost sessions’ of ‘almost coming close’

Passing winks & buying drinks,

I’ma, I’ma, I’ma flirt!♫

Who flirts with the ideology of,

‘Can you just tell me how much I can get away with & still be saved?’

NO more.

I’ll stay in my bed… alone, and write poems, about how I will wait for you

He won’t even come close,

Our fingers won’t even interlock

We won’t even exchange breath

Cause I have thoughts that I’ve ‘saved as’ in a file that God has only equipped you to open.

I will no longer get weighted down,

From so-called friends & family talks,

About the concern for my biological clock

When I serve the Author of Time.

Who is NOT subject to time,

But I’M subject to Him,

He has the ability to STOP, FAST FORWARD, PAUSE, or REWIND at any given time…

So if we could role play,

You would be Abraham & I would be Sarah

Or you can be Isaac & I can be Rebekah – a servant’s answered prayer

I am bone of your bone, flesh of your flesh,

Made up of your rib Adam!

And once we meet, like electrons

I will be bound to your nucleus, completely indivisible…atom.

We even speak the same math: 1 + 1 + 1 = 3, which really equals 1 if you…”add Him.”

We were all created in His image,

But you have the ability to reflect, project & even detect the Son.

If I were to explain what you looked like,

You would have to look like a star,

A son of the Son…

I would gain energy simply from the light on me.

I would need you, in order to complete my photosynthesis

I await your revelation, but once again from the genesis, I will wait for you ♥

And I will know you… because when you speak I will be reminded of Solomon’s wisdom,

Your ability to lead will remind me of Moses,

Your faith will remind me of Abraham,

Your confidence in God’s Word will remind me of Daniel,

Your inspiration will remind me of Paul,

Your heart for God will remind me of David,

Your attention to detail will remind me of Noah,

Your integrity will remind me of Joseph,

And your ability to abandon your own will, will remind me of the disciples,

But Your ability to love selflessly & unconditionally will remind me of Christ.

But I won’t need to identify you by any special Matthews or any special Marks,

Cause His word will be tatted all over your heart.

And you will know me, and you will find me,

Where… the boldness of Esther meets the warm closeness of Ruth.

Where the hospitality of Lydia is aligned with the submission of Mary,

Which is engulfed in the tears of a praying Hannah.

I will be the one, drenched in Proverbs 31… waiting for you.

But to my Father, my Father who has known me before I was birthed into this earth

Only if you should see fit…

I desire Your will above mine,

So even if you call me to a life of single-ness,

My heart is content with YOU – the One who was sent.

YOU are the greatest love story ever told,

The greatest story ever known

You are forever my judge & I’m forever Your witness

And I pray that I’m always found on a mission about my Father’s business.

Oh, I will always be Yours!

And I will always wait for You Lord, more than the watchmen wait for the morning…

More than the watchmen wait for the morning… I WILL WAIT ♥

Perseverance

"Therefore, having been justified by faith we have peace with God through our
Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in
which we stand and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but
we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulations produces perseverance;
and perseverance, character; and character hope. Now hope does not disappoint
because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who
was given to us. " Romans 5:1-5

I'm trying to keep this in mind lately. My heart keeps telling me one thing but I know God is telling me another. Its funny I never took dating lightly. Reading through old posts singleness was definitely something I struggled with. Now I see more than ever that I need to embrace being single.

It is still hard to do things the Godly and pure way when people around you are Worldly in their relationships. But I realize the God has someone out there for me. But for now I need to learn that I'm not ready to be in a relationship.

Its hard to recognize that, but I need to turn to God and recognize I am a strong female leader and I am one because I am single. And that its part of my ministry. Not that I'm saying I'm never going to date again, its just that I'm still not ready in my faith. I know that once I am ready my prince will come and he will be the strong Christian man I've been praying for.

"The end of a thing is better than its beginning; the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry. For anger rests in the bosom of fools." Ecclesiastes 7:18

God help me to see this and understand your will. Less of me, more of you.

I love my group of friends. We all have our own struggles, but we are always there for each other. To pray and to fellowship together. I'm really glad to be apart of Harvest Family Fellowships, young adults group cause of it.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up.
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10,12

I wonder.

I wonder if anyone reads this. I'm not good at this whole blog thing. My life has become a series of 140 character twitter updates. haha.

So this is what's been going on in the life of Sarah Ng.

Now that I'm free text books and enter the world of paying back student loans, I have learned that I don't have as much free time as I thought I would. All the projects I said I would get too have gone undone. I finally graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Music. (I switch from Music Ed and am still wondering if it was a good choice)

I'm working from my apartment now. Ohio is not happening now. My boss moved out there, but from what I understand is that I don't have to move. Which is a blessing, I've gotten more involved with Harvest and gotten closer to my family that lives in Reno.

I'm playing guitar more. It's good! I've had my guitar for almost 4 years now and it's about time that I start learning to play it. I play it for my bible study on Tuesday nights and for Youth Group, and I'm far from being able to lead worship on it. It's amazing how God works, I'm learning guitar but in the process of learning I'm also reaching out and showing the Youth Group kids how to play too. So in a way God is still using me to Teach Music.

I've been going to Young Adults too, and it's nice to actually have a group of friends that have a strong foundation in their beliefs. I guess what I mean is, it's nice to be around a group of 20 somethings that aren't going out getting drunk, cussing, or trying to be better than people. We are starting to meet on Saturdays, which is great in my book cause it keeps people from getting into trouble.

I'm still struggling with stuff of the world, but it's been getting better. Something I don't want to let go, like certain friends and activities but I'm getting there. As for relationships, I'm still struggling with it. It's hard sometimes being around people who are 4 to 5 years younger than me that are already married and have babies, but at the same time I know I'm not ready for that chapter of life.

I'm still hoping for a great Christian guy that God has set aside for me. hm... that's another post. The kind of guy I'm waiting for. I'll have to share it with some of the youth girls. haha.

Showing Love.

Today I kind of wish I was in Reno. To be apart of a group of people from all groups that are joining together to show a group of misled Christians love. 

Fred Phelps from Westboro Baptist Church (www.godhatesfags.com) is coming to Reno to protest the GSA Summit at UNR. They have been on UNR's campus before where they yelled hateful words to passing students, telling them, "God Hates You" "God Hates Reno" "You are all sinners!" Many Renoites remember the hateful protest WBC staged at the memorial service for Brianna Dennison, in front of South Reno Baptist, and on campus. 

It's sad, I'm wondering if this is the same group that Brody Harper ran into in Baton Rouge. They were protesting in front of a venue that was hosting The Rock & Worship Road Show a Christian Concert. Yelling at the Christians telling they were evil and sinners and bad examples for going to a Christian rock concert!

Continuing on!

I'm failing at this blog again, oops!

So a few weeks ago I went to a Searchfest PDX in Portland for work. I sat in on some interesting and seminars. One being on blogging, a main thing to do is find a niche and stick with it. I'm still not sure what my niche should be. Let alone being any good at this blogging game. 

Lately I've been getting more involved with stuff. I'm excited about helping out more with my church's youth group. Especially after going on the snowboarding trip with them. This August they are going on a mission trip to San Francisco and I'm so proud of them and excited to be there for them as they prepare their hearts and minds for this challenging step of their lives. They will be working with inner city kids, street witnessing, and in soup kitchens. 

I've also have been putting forth more effort to learn the guitar. It's taken me 4 years to do it, but now I finally have the time to focus on it. It was hard when I was in school since I had to put in 6 hours of practice a week each on the clarinet and piano. (someday I will teach music) I'm really enjoying playing the guitar cause it's a new outlet to worship God. 

Taking a Break

Sometimes its good to just take a break from people, and be by yourself. 

I think I'm going to break communications for a while and not really talk to people and just focus on God and the things I need to do to set my heart right. 

Old Messages

So I'm going through and cleaning out my myspace inbox and here are some interesting things I'm findings.

I use to have a disclaimer about how I want to be friends with people who genuinely want to be my friend, not another Asian chick to add to this list. Yeah saw a few messages from random guys asking to be my friend and their friend list is all half naked Asians. I laughed.

Then there's messages like this

ng a ling, kinda like ring a ding. haha all well. hi

HAHAHA

I gave advice that I need to hear now. 

Hey! So today at church the sermon was about relationships and marriage it made me think of you and I decided to share. 

I got a lot out of this sermon, because I tend to want a boyfriend more than God at times, and so it was really helpful to me.

It was based off of 1 Corinthians 7. 
The main points of the talk was that
1. You should marry/be in a relationship with only a fellow believer (2 Cor. 6:14)
2. You should Marry/ be in a relationship with someone who feels the same way you do about God (Your passions, purpose and calling) Just because they are Christian (or claim to be)- Doesn't mean they are a good/God match
3. They should compliment you and be a help in fulfilling your God-Given calling.
4. You should be ready to accept the responsibilities and added concerns that go with Marriage/Relationship.

Singleness isn't a disease. Find out what God is calling you to do before finding that person to be with. Find that person that has the same passions as you. Find the person that compliments you, the person that helps you to be the person you both want to be together. 

Have patience. God will bring the person he has picked out for you someday.

I learned that when I was having Identity problems with going on a mission trip and having my parents permission without dishonoring them some of my non christians friends stepped up with advice that was quite meaning full. 

Alright, I may not be the best Christian, and sometimes I wonder even if I am anymore, but here goes... When God asked Moses to talk to Pharaoh to let the Hebrews leave Egypt, he complained, "Who am I to go to Pharaoh?" Moses was also risking possible death to appear before Pharaoh, but God was with him. Even though he had to keep trying, he eventually succeeded because God was with him. I know God is with you you Sarah, you're an amazing girl, I'm sure if you ask God to soften your Parents heart, or help them understand, I'm sure they'll say yes. I hope this has been helpful. See ya at practice....

It was more helpful than what some of my Christians friends told me. 

I Suck at Snowboarding.

This weekend was amazing. I love working with youth kids. Maybe it's because I wish I was still 18. It started out a little crazy though. At first I wasn't sure if I was needed to rent a 15 passenger van or to drive my car. We didn't do either.

We ended up having a 5 car caravan, where we all manage to get lost or separated some how. For me, it would not have be a road trip is there weren't a few u-turns made haha!



Friday was a fun night of games, fellowship, and worship. I played the guitar and led worship, it was the first time I did that by myself. I'm use to having my friend Mikey play with me. I totally freaked out and messed up my first song. After that I was ok. :D

Tanner did a lesson on worship, which was really good it seemed like the kids were really listening to him. Then it was time for the boys and girls to separate to their ends of the condo we were staying in. It was so much fun playing games and getting to know the girls. We played Christian Blurt where a girl named Kayla kicked our butts.

Then it was early up to make breakfast, have some quite time reading James 4, and a mini talk about James 4. Then it was mayhem getting all the people ready to go in the cars and then off to Diamond peak!



It was good we were surprisingly organized when it came to getting the rental gear and to the lessons. I went with the girls for our lesson where we had Andrew (who was pretty!) as our teacher and I totally ate it. I wasn't really trying though, but I'm not going to lie I sucked! It's been a while since I've skateboarded and I couldn't get comfortable with the board cause of my bad left ankle and bad right knee.



In the end though it was so much fun! I rolled my way down the beginners hill. I'm sore mainly on my right side and I got to know some of the youth kids. They are awesome. I hope I can continue to be apart of their lives and just encourage them.

Oh and my friend Keith offered to go snowboarding with me again, so hopefully this time I'll try a little harder and not fall as much. :D

Amazing How God Works.

It's funny how God works. So a few weeks ago I was asked to chaperone a snowboarding trip for my church's Youth Group. I said I'd think about it and make sure it's something I could commit too.

I wasn't too sure about going. I'm a big klutz (I sprained my knee walking in the snow) and the last time I went snowboarding I was in High School. It was more like messing around on a board on this sad little hill. I've been skiing but that was ages ago too. So I thought about it a few days and asked for more details.

So I told Ryan the guy in charge that I was game and I would go. As I was writing the message back I felt this random need to ask about worship and if he wanted me to bring my guitar. I was very hesitant at first cause I'm not very good a guitar let alone playing it and singing at the same time. I actually was having some anxiety about asking if I should bring it, because if he said yes then I'm totally screwed! Yup that was the thought process.

Well, Ryan writes back and he was just totally floored. He said that he was freaking out about it, he really wanted to do worship but didn't know how to do it. Within the last few days he felt that God was calming him down about it and that it would be ok. So when I asked about worship he was like that was the answer he was looking for.

I messaged back explain how I felt and now even though I'm still freaking out about it, I'm not having any anxiety about it. Because now I know it is a total God thing.

God's Amazing.

Needless to say I'm borrowing some snow pants because I'm expecting to be "sitting" in the snow, A LOT.

Lost Generation

Twilight Bond

So my older sister's birthday is on the 13th.  I'm not good at presents so I always ask. So one day when I was on GTalk I asked my sister what she wanted for her birthday and this is how our conversation went. 

me: hey.... what would you like for your birthday?

irene: i don't know i don't want anything. i'd like the twilight movie when it gets out (which I figured you'd appreciate) However, April would skin me and leave me hang to dry if I asked her

me: hehe that can happen haha.

irene: there are things that make us alike a bond our freakish baby sister will never understand

So needless to say tonight I'm pre-ordering Twilight for my sister. 

Woah!

So I'm not going to lie. I tried to avoid the  Super Bowl. Really all I would watch it for would be the commercials and they get posted online within hours of the Super Bowl.

So this commercial caught my eye, only cause Diana and Michelle liked it so much.

As I was watching there was one scene that made me go, WOAH! The scene with Bruce Lee that was mirrored with a woman doing the same kick? That's Bruce Lee's daughter Shannon. What made me go woah was that fact that I met her.

It still amazes me how much has happened in my life the last few years. Meeting Sam and Ryan Hui, which in turn led me to meet Shannon Lee. At the time I was so star struck that it took till now for it to fully hit that I met someone that would be the clostest I would get to meeting Bruce Lee and that was his Daughter.

God is awesome and it's funny how we often miss out on the good things that happen in our lives versus the bad. I'm so thankful for the people God has brought into my life. 

By the way, she's super nice and has a great voice!

Something Different

So I put a template up for my layout for my blog. I don't like it, but this will have to do until I fine time to design something I like more. I just wanted something that wasn't the old layout cause it was too hard to read. so for now enjoy the template I got from Pyzam.

Coffee Break

I'm two cups into my coffee break.
I'm sitting alone in the café from the way.
Reading all by myself
Turning my cell off just to breath
And everyone I know just keeps calling me.
And I just need a little time.

Cause I'm overcommiting myself.
I guess this is growing up
I'm sleeping so little these days.
I guess this is growing up
I'm feeling things are about to change
I'm guessing this is growin up
Yeah I'm growing up.

And my mom hates my guts.
She has every reason to
From all the things I do.
And it breaks me just to know
That I have torn her apart so many times.
So many times

Cause I've overcommitted myself.
I guess this is growing
I'm sleeping so little these days.
I guess this is growing up
I'm feeling things are about to change
I'm guessing this is growin up
Oh I'm guessing this is growing up

Now I'm done with my coffee break.
I turn on my phone.
Oh that I've grown up

Coffee Break Lyrics by Forever the Sickest Kids

I'm becoming a big fan of FTSK. I got to see them at Warped Tour, they have good fun CLEAN up beat music and Jonathan Cook is just absolutely the cutest thing. He sings, funny, cute, and Christian a total winner in my book!

So I was driving to work today and I finally took the time to really listen the lyrics of this song. It's funny how almost everything in this song reminded me of stuff I'm dealing with right now. I say almost everything in this song because I don't think my mom hates me. I'm sure I'm breaking her heart though. :^s

Sometimes Growing up is hard. Sometimes it hard to make decisions for youself without hurting others. Sometimes it's hard to follow Gods will. I'm still waiting for that feeling of, "You made the wrong decision! Turn around go back" to hit but it's hasn't. I know this is what God wants from me. It still doesn't mean I'm not going to freak out, cry, and loose it every once in awhile. I guess this is growing up.

It's hard to grow up when you hang out with a bunch of 17 - 22 yr olds all the time too.. haha 8^D Went bowling last night with some youth kiddies. Good Times!

You are just as valuable as any other person on planet Earth.

Pastor Pete posted about this at withoutwax.tv, Diana told me about it because she read it from there, today I read it. I was reduced to tears. Awesome Story

There are some games in which cheering for the other side feels better than winning.

Rubiks Race

I must be getting better at this blogging thing!

Today I bought Rubik's Race off of eBay. It's was made in 1982, and it was one of those games that brings back a lot of childhood memories.

I remember playing it at my cousins house every time we went to Reno for Christmas. The family Christmas in Reno stopped a long time ago which is sad to see happen, I don't get to see my cousins much anymore except of the occasional weddings and special occasions.

Anyways we would have hours of fun racing each other, we even had tournaments to find out who will be the top racer.

I was thinking about it one day and decided to try and buy it. At the time I thought it was ridiculous amount to pay for the game so I didn't. I looked around at a few thrift stores, local and online, but couldn't find it.

So today I went on eBay again just to find that its more money now. Should have gotten it early. But I got. I'm so excited that I can't wait for it to get in so I can play it with some friends. So worth the money for all the memories get with it.

What was your favorite childhood game?

??

Is it silly that the first question I asked to myself after I told my boss I would move was, "Who's going to play Rock Band with me?"